No I haven't started nursing in the closet!
How does a Mom go from being a proud nursing Momma to one who is reluctant to admit that she is still nursing at 15 months?
One negative comment: "You are STILL NURSING?! But she is ONE already! You aren't going to nurse until she is 3 are you?"
I guess that was more than one comment but all rolled into one. At the time, Madison was 13 months old.
I got defensive at first, making up excuses in my head:
- She hates cow's milk
- She is ONLY 13 months!
- NO, I am not going to nurse until she is THREE!
- It is none of your business how long I will nurse. (I have always intended to stop at 12 months- Easier said than done I am learning)
Then I thought I better handle this differently as it could turn ugly and I might not get over it. I simply responded "I think the best time to stop nursing is a private decision between a Mom and a child and no one else." That seemed to do the trick. There were a few other little comments that I let go and just kept repeating my first response.
But I have to admit that ever since then I have been ultra sensitive about revealing it.
I thought blogging about my journey might help me let go of my negative vibe about it.
Within a year's time,
- I went from being a very proud mama who successfully left the hospital nursing, (but with blisters),
- to pushing through one of the more difficult things I have ever done, of which I am most proud, successfully nursing at 6 months,
- to believing each week after that point was a bonus,
- to waiting for Madison to self wean,
- to looking forward to never pumping again,
- to thinking that at 12 months, somehow Madison would magically love cow's milk and prefer it to me,
- to working on strategies to convince Madison cow's milk was yummy
- to not wanting to tell anyone I am still nursing at 15 months!
Weaning isn't as easy as I thought it would be. At 12 months we stopped the bottle of expressed milk she was getting once a day five days a week in the afternoon at my Mom's. I got to stop pumping (the least favorite activity). She hated cow's milk. We kept trying. We even spiked it with some Nestle Quick to make it a little sweeter to trick her. It was a no go.
Eventually, she decided cow's milk wasn't so bad and we were able to drop the afternoon nursing at lunch. I tried our bedtime routine a few times without it and got away with it eventually it so that worked out. We now have it down to just first thing in the morning, which seems to be going well.
A funny side note, on weekends she will ask me for milk by signing "milk" and I will say "You want milk in a cup?" and then she will point to me with her cute little finger, shake her head 'no' and then say "boob". A girl who knows what she wants.
I am not sure why I am blogging about it, other than to put it out there that it really surprised me how differently I am feeling about it. Not that I have changed how I feel personally about nursing, just how I feel about telling anyone about it and my fear of being judged about it.
There are a lot of things to read about how to nurse, how to keep nursing, how good it is for the baby etc. There are less things about how/why/when to stop.
I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I am still extremely proud of myself.
The lesson I am taking from how this negative comment made me feel is this: I am more sensitive about how my own comments might make others feel judged and am working on looking within before projecting outward as I wish the person who said this to me had done. I need to not take things so personal and realize that the comment said more about her than it did about me.
2 comments:
A couple of week ago, I was getting a pedicure done while reading the latest US Weekly. It turns out the mom on Gossip Girl is still nursing her 2 year-old and has just found out she is having another baby. She defended breast feeding to the hilt, yet also reiterated (rightly so!) that it's a choice between each mother and child.
I thought of you. Just point people towards celebrities and they'll get over it :)
Hi! I clicked on you from Alysun's blog. I nursed my son until he was 18 mos. I think he would have even gone longer, but my husband and I switched roles, him staying home and me working. I got the comments too, and it made me angry. I look at it this way. You have information they don't have. You know how good it is for your child. You'll also know when it's time to stop.
Cute blog!
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